Letter to my sixty year old self

Overkilling the tag. With apologies to RD.

To My sixty year old self, i hope you have the eyesight to read this, if you’re still alive.

Life will always contradict itself. So before you look back and think how carefree you were at this age. Know that at the age of twenty four you were looking back at yourself at the age of five and thinking the same thing.

Also know that with irresponsibility comes little wealth and material gain. So imbibe some responsibility into your front press. Although irresponsibility gives you more freedom to do the shit you want to, it’ll do so within tight financial constraints; which is not much fun. So i hope you got off your lazy ass and did some money making with your life.

If you are rich then know that you had no idea you would be so when you were twenty four. Now you may be fat and relaxed (i’ll get to that later) but there was a time when you were lean and hungry. And your lean and hungry self thrived on ideals. And was resigned to a brave life of near destitution if thats what it took for him to be true to his heart. Yes he also spoke through his backside often then. Has that changed at all?

I hope you stuck to your guns, and didn’t change for anyone else, especially not for a woman. If you’re married, I hope thats a nice girl you married and that she didn’t nag you too much. If you never got married, then i hope you died in your forties in a botched mountain climbing attempt, or even better; fighting for what you believed in.

I hope you stuck to following your instincts but hopefully time taught you a thing or two about making decisions. It simply must, or you’ll be sweating over vanilla or chocolate until the ice cream melts for a long time. A life without frozen ice cream man, not sweet! I hope you’re reaping the results of being more firm and aware of what you exactly wanted out of life.

I hope you gave up wearing ties. ‘Ties are a leash that will lead you like a dog and then hang you like a chicken before they’re done with you’ I hope you remembered that quote from your twenties. You were a wise man then. If by any chance, you did take to wearing ties and didn’t end up like a trussed up chicken (however metaphorically) please also remember that you were a bit of a fool sometimes also. But a fool thrives where wise men fear to tread. No i don’t know why i just said that. But i hope you do.

 You better not have become a pot bellied old man. I hope you’re still lean, that you never gave yourself up to excess and waste. I hope you’re still fit. On the floor, give me twenty-five! on the knuckles!

Ok good.

I hope you always remembered the stars.  The universe is unimaginably gigantic compared to your petty existence, try and imagine it everyday (most people forget this when they are confronted with the ins and outs of daily existence); it will have kept you sane and hopefully humble. And whatever you did, I hope you didn’t sell your soul for anything. The devil is only at your doorstep all the time.

Tinkerbell clap clap clap! is it true that you become a kid again when you become old? Get back to your newspaper and armchair! or is it Warcraft and heavy Sunday lunches? In reality i’m the old timer here and you’re new age. So forgive the archaic language. Just know that it was the shiz back then. Or back here. Yes, back here you were the coolest person on the blogosphere, if anyone tries to tell you anything to the contrary, just close your ears and go gagagagagagagagaggagagaga. Works everytime.

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15 comments
  1. Foxhound said:

    Let’s just hope by the time you get to sixty your taste in Umbrella’s will improve!

    • Whacko said:

      har har, at least i’ll have less chance of contracting asthma

  2. Chavie said:

    “Yes, back here you were the coolest person on the blogosphere, if anyone tries to tell you anything to the contrary, just close your ears and go gagagagagagagagaggagagaga. Works everytime.” – hahaha good one! 😀

  3. T said:

    Nice one dood. I like this:

    If you are rich then know that you had no idea you would be so when you were twenty four. Now you may be fat and relaxed (i’ll get to that later) but there was a time when you were lean and hungry. And your lean and hungry self thrived on ideals. And was resigned to a brave life of near destitution if thats what it took for him to be true to his heart. Yes he also spoke through his backside often then. Has that changed at all?

  4. kar said:

    Going global was a Professional blog and Whackster lair was a personal blog. That was my understanding having followed you for a while now. I see you mix the two now. Why? I don’t think this post suits the nature of this blog. Oh.. BTW this is my first comment on any of your blogs.

  5. RD said:

    Nice idea Mr Whacko, I might write one of these myself.

    • Whacko said:

      Chavie – Thank you kindly

      T – Thanks. and you mean ‘dude’:p Tsk tsk, one point lost for the spelling Nazi.

      kar – yeah i know, i seem to have amalgamated both blogs a bit haven’t i? i guess I’ve changed a bit since i first started blogging. I think im only experimenting but, i don’t know. hope you keep visiting nevertheless. and thanks for reading me so far, much honored.

      RD – thank you Mr. RD, yes please do!

      • T said:

        it’s how the cool kids say it. You wouldn’t know anything about that. Yes, I know, gagagagagaggagagagaga.

        lol.

    • sabbyaz said:

      What she said 😛

      • Whacko said:

        uh huh.. yall just jealous.

  6. pp said:

    i believe the correct expression is “talking out of your ass”.

    i think 60 year old whacko will also be at it so worry not :p

  7. awww! I like this post. and I believe you will be alive when you’re 60 =)

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