The Truth About Kavindi

A mail I recieved from a credible source claiming to be written by Kavindi’s best friend’s mom. I’ll leave it upto you to judge its authenticity.

Dear All,

I am the best friend of Mrs. Sandhya Kumari Jayawardene, the mother of Anuththara Kavindi Jayawardene, the 14-year old girl who is said to have hung herself with her school tie on 22nd July 2009 . Kavindi’s mother and I are best friends since August 2000 and Kavindi was a dear friend of my daughter, who was two years younger to her. I have known Kavindi quite closely since she was in Montessori with my daughter.

Her father is a professional/graduate Accountant and her mother too was in the accountancy field before she gave up her job upon marriage. Her mother is from Kegalle, an innocent, down-to-earth, virtuous woman who was a devout Buddhist. Kavindi was an only child, extraordinarily beautiful and was very shy. She was a studious girl whose report cards received from school always described her as a “Siyalu Dena Samaga Sahayogayen Kriya Karana, Vineetha, Keekaru, Sisuwiyeki”. Anyone can take a look at her school books and report cards and see if she seems a disturbed or disobedient girl.

Kavindi’s mother was the kind of woman who even went to the extent of having a Bodhi Poojawa for my daughter who was a non-Buddhist, when she was sitting for her 5th Grade Scholarship exam, thinking of someone else’s child as her own.

It is so saddening to hear that Kavindi’s name has been tarnished by the school making her look like a girl who was into porn, boyfriends and similar stuff whereas in actual sense she was a girl who did not even collect pictures of movie stars, cricketers or any such thing that a teenager of today would do but was always getting good grades at school and excelling in studies.

In fact, Kavindi was the pillar of strength to her mother during their family ordeal of Kavindi’s father going through a kidney transplant about two years ago. Athula, her father was not the “STRICT” father as depicted in the media. He in fact would return home and keep Kavindi on his lap and ask her what happened at school or joke with her about things on TV. Even after Kavindi attained age and showed all signs of a beautiful young lady, Athula petted her like a little girl.

She was very close to her mother, and till her death Kavindi’s world and after school activities involved playing with her little cousins next door and helping her mother with housework. She even knew how to cook, something only a handful of 14-year-olds today would know.

She encouraged her mother to do home-gardening and have plenty of vegetables grown in their 15 perch house and land, and loved seeing the produce being consumed. She was never into Facebook, computer games, hip electronic gadgets or any such thing. I was always in and out of their house as Sandhya was one of the few persons (apart from my own Mother) that I would trust to leave my daughter with whenever I had to leave my daughter with someone.

During the past 8 years, my daughter spent most of her holidays at their home where I would drop her off in the mornings and pick her up at evening and stay on for at least 1-2 hours chatting with my best friend. Whenever I called my daughter in between, Kavindi would talk to me too, and relate what they had been playing during the day and tell of their plans for evening play and I would often find Sandhya feeding both my daughter and hers, if I happen to call during lunch time. Kavindi played hide and seek, dolls, imaginary house, Lego and similar games with her mother, my daughter and her little cousins from next door and was innocent and unspoiled and a far cry from what is being told about her now.

It is sad to learn from her classmates that a Prefect from her school actually dragged her by her tie upon confronting her for having a mobile phone in her school bag (which did not even belong to her) and taken her to the Section Head’s office and also made her kneel in public and humiliated her by showing her to others. This fact would now be denied by school authorities for obvious reasons but for a child who has never been reprimanded in her entire life for indiscipline just cannot bear such humiliation, harassment and public embarrassment.

The school authorities should also appoint Counsellors in schools who are qualified enough to handle these kind of situations instead of having Teachers and mere school girls (Prefect Bullies) handling situations involving human emotions.

Even when her body was discovered hanging in the toilet, the teachers or authorities of the school had not even loosened her tie around the neck or given appropriate first aid to revive her.

The only thing this school can do now is to tarnish her good name and make her look like a “bad girl” who committed suicide, thereby deviating the attention of the public to the fact that the girl was suspected, embarrassed in public, emotionally abused and mishandled by Prefects and Teachers who were not capable of understanding emotions of a 14-year old and never thought of repercussions of misjudgement, harshness, cruelty and public humiliation. She had in fact begged that it is okay to tell about the incident to her mother but never to tell her father because he was a kidney patient whom Kavindi always feared would die if he faces sadness.

Kavindi was the type of girl who was so shy that she would even nudge me and her mother in embarrassment if we ever spoke out in public in protest for small injustices such as being over-charged at stores or such similar small incidents and tell “aney randu karanna epa ammey, nikam innako ammey, etc…” and blush in embarrassment. She is the type of girl who encouraged and loved the fact that her mother was among the very few mothers at her school who only wore a simple ‘Osariya’ whenever she had to visit Kavindi’s school. She never even allowed her mother’s Saree blouses to have a deep-cut neckline and would protest against any body part of her mother being shown in public. It is this virtuous charactered Kavindi who today is being portrayed as the girl who would watch porn or pose nude for her boyfriend and allow to be photographed or filmed.

Since the Police have found out that Kavindi is not the owner of the mobile in question, there were no porn in the mobile, there were no nude photos or sms directed to Kavindi, then why isn’t the school issuing a statement about the true owners of the mobile phone or the actual contents of the mobile?

Why isn’t the school ascertaining the fact that the mobile did not belong to Kavindi but to the other three students of the same school/class who had pooled and bought the mobile then slipped it into innocent and shy Kavindi’s school bag when the Prefects came along, checking for mobiles in their classroom?

Why isn’t the school talking about the two girls who subsequent to Kavindi’s hanging body being found tried to commit suicide, one by stabbing herself with a bottle and the other by consuming some toilet detergent, when they realized what they had done to their classmate Kavindi and their guilty consciousness took the better of them?

Today, a majority of Sri Lankans know Kavindi as the “girl who watched porn on her mobile and committed suicide in shame”, or “the girl who had her nude pictures in her mobile”, or “the girl who was mentally ill or depressed”, or “the girl whose parents were too strict” and such ghastly impressions.

At present, my best friend is a woman who hears her only child’s voice echoing around the house, sees her face every where, a broken woman with no hope for the future and a woman who wishes she died with Kavindi. She is a well-read but simple housewife whose world was woven around her only child. She is still that devout Buddhist who forgives the media for tarnishing her precious daughter’s name, forgives the people who did not provide timely first aid to her daughter when they found her hanging, forgives the prefects who manhandled her daughter, forgives the three girls who slipped the phone in Kavindi’s school bag and pushed her to death in shame, but the fact remains, Sandhya’s soul died along with her only child.

My only appeal to you is, despite misleading information by the media and complete silence maintained by the relevant school, to think logically about Kavindi’s name unduly tarnished along with her parents reputation.

Please also pass this on to everyone you know.

Thank you,

  1. Gerald said:

    Doubt it's authentic.

    "…like a girl who was into porn, boyfriends and similar stuff…"

  2. Sam said:

    I don’t believe this porn story for a second. Once in DS, a teacher slaps a student (for not wearing uniform to the pool, or something similar) and the poor boy went deaf. And parents sue the teacher and the principle demanded all teachers to testify saying the boy had pornography in his school book and the boy hit the teacher first. And so they did. And I don’t know what happened to the boy now. But that is the classic trick.

    In a girls school this works better. Because our sexually frustrated men like to think it is true and have a hidden pleaser form it.

  3. Anonymous said:

    Going global going crazy these days sums it up. In his previous post d wanker wackster thrashed d media only 2 b slapped back on d face, to recover he posted dis one, dats fucking crazy, dude u sink deeper n deeper with dis. Have we forgotten d title n purpose of our blog, going global? sorry going bonkers.
    Epic fall? who fell? Isn't it u who fell with yr previous childish post n now trying 2 make a come back, not realising you only look idiotic with dis tripe?

  4. Anonymous said:

    What a sad, sad, story. That poor girl needed help to sort out this matter, and it is sad that the Sri Lankans schools are unable to provide students in this situation with counseling and advice. The school cannot blame this on the student, and they should not lie or exaggerate the story, so that the poor deceased child looks bad. My heart goes out to her distraught parents, and hope that eventually they find some peace. In many other countries, the school would have been sued, for being responsible. This little girl was a child, and should have been very gently handled for playing with a mobile phone. The owner of the phone seems to have got away scott free. The school owes the grieving parents a BIG apology. Perhaps they do not have the decency to do so.

  5. Anonymous said:

    Do not consider this letter to be authentic. Even if it is, for a child who is living up to be righteous would never have killed her self and specially if she was concerned for her father's health did she ever consider how he would feel when she killed her self. Clearly the girl was worried as to what would happen to her when her parents got to know about what happened at school so she made a very bold decision.

    Think this happens in every school where prefects/teachers punish students who bring items which are banned in school, but dont think any student has tried to kill him/her self. Because of her actions she caused shame to her self, family and this particular school. Its a shame that it happened but everyone is different and this poor girl thought this was the only way out.

    What society should do is.. not publish articles to defame any individual or institution but to advocate that suicide is not the answer to any troubles in life!

  6. Anonymous said:

    Is the authenticity of this letter the main concern ? Come on people. Another school girl death at the school ? No matter what the situation is this is an unnecessary death and the school teachers and the Principle has blood on their hands.

    Former school teacher.

  7. Anonymous said:

    Some people want to handle this girl like an adult, which she is not. She is just a 14 year of Child. Children of this age, do not think rationally, and act on impulse. Even if she did look at a "unsuitable" picture or material, she is just a normal,curious, kid. If she was handled with tact and compassion, she would not have gone to such an extreme measure. I sense a lack of sympathy from some people, who may be standing up for their old school, and who show anger at the child's behavior. Perhaps if they become parents, they might understand. If this is the SECOND tragic death in this school, it should make one pause and wonder if something is not right at this school.
    What have they learned from the first death, and what have they done to change the system?

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