Frankensteining the Economy

heres a quick fix to the financial crisis.

The whole thing happened cos the housing market failed right? So people defaulted on their loans and cleared outta their homes. Leaving banks stuck with useless debt and unsellable houses. So what do they do? They sell the houses to the Indians! and the Chinese and the Sri Lankans! im sure we’ll (speaking for all Asians) be glad enough to lap up good houses going cheap in the most developed nation of the world.

But then they’d have to grant us VISAs. Otherwise whats the point? no ones gonna buy a house they cant live in. So they give us VISAs and a million or so more immigrants enter the US. In case ur thinking people over here cant afford to buy US homes, thats not true. Theres a lot of money around these parts. The Indian ocean is gleaming with it.

So the Zombie banks sell their houses cheap and recover most of their money. The people who went to the US are happy cos they are now in ‘the land of the free’. The US doesn’t mind a coupla million more immigrants as long as they work hard and pay their medical insurance. The defaulters can rent rooms in the houses being bought. OR the owners can stay in Asia and rent their new homes out to homeless Americans.

The crisis will be nullified due to all the toxic assets being taken care of (because every house will be sold to clamouring Indians and Chinese – and the odd Lankan politician – with bulging pockets), banks will be standing on their own two feet again, and soon theother banks wont be so suspicious anymore of lendng out money, and the velocity of money going around the economy will slowly increase and permeat the air with some green crispness.

Trade will pick up as credit eases and confidence increases. Recruitment will start and people will find work again. And we shall all start living life as normal. The rich will once again become richer at a steady pace. no more uncertainty for them. And the poor will once again be poor in confidence. No more uncerainty for them either.

There. problem solved.
Stay tuned for; Conspiracies of the Crunch – predicting possible future credit crunch conspiracy theories (cue ominous music).

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